Blog #2 in the same day

So I have made the decision. I am headed back to school. As much as I despised it the first time around I am going back for my bachelors. I dont like the stress of homework or the stress of money or anything like that but I am doing it.

I have realized that going to college is the one thing I am good at. I can apply myself and get good grades. Call it trying to compete with my sisters but its something that makes me feel good. I havent done much else in my life good enough for praise but for me school allows me to be proud of myself if even for a moment. I want to make something of my life and right now I feel as though nothing is happening. I want to succeed and I want to make a good life for myself even if it is by myself.

I wanted to go back and get a double major but I think I am going to take it one step at a time. I was so excited to be done with school the first time around. I needed some time for me and although its only been 3 months I feel I have had all the time that I need.

Part of the reason why I am going back is to keep my mind busy. To be around people who dont know about a certain someone that consumes my every waking moment. THey dont know him or how he treated me. THey dont know anything about the situation. I want ot move on and hopefully throwing myself into school will allow me to move on or atleast for the next 2 years stop forgetting about him. I know how crazy hard it is working 40 hours a week is tough enough but adding classes 4 nights a week is even tougher but it keeps my thoughts on homework. Its something that works for me and its the one thing I can do and praise myself for. Only a few people know that I am going back and many will probably think that I am crazy but ya know u only live once and why not do things that allow u to praise yourself.

One day I may get rewarded for my hard efforts but for now I will keep trudging on no matter what happens or how hard it gets. Life isnt as hard as I seem to make it. So much for this blog about being life after graduating college. I guess its now about a graduate going back so soon after graduation. Hell my ceremony is this next thursday and i will hopefully be going back the beginning of january. To those who read this wish me luck becuase i am sure I amgoing to need it.

ndgirl07 signing off for now and heading to bed. :)