Goodbye My almost Lover

This song was brought to my attention of someone at work and it kind of hit home as far as what I am going through in my so called love life.
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Almost Lover lyrics
You fingertips against my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick
I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you

I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images,
noI never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy for you
To walk right in and out of my life?
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

By A Fine Frenzy
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I know I need to move on from this part of my life however I dont think that I am ready to let go of this person. I know in my mind that he is not the right person for me but I cant bare the thought of taking him out of my life. The way I felt when I was with him is something that I cannot put in words. There were only a few times but still those I want to be able to cherish for the rest of my life. I dont want to say goodbye as the song says. I want to hang on to the hope that one day we can be together. I know its not good for me to hang on to this but I can help it. I love him. I dont know if I want to stop loving him. I really dont. Its a part of me that I dont know if I want to get rid of even though I know its better for me to do so.

Life has been going on a downward sprial right now. Mentally I guess I am still ok although I am worried that I wont be able to hang on for my life to start looking up. I try to be happy but I dont know how. I will write more later but considering its almost 1am my brain has ceased thinking straight.

ndgirl07 signing off for now