an update from boston of some sort :)

The past few days here in Boston has been fairly good. I went to the local mall in Natick not to far from my hotel. Didnt buy anything but looked at alot of stuff. And yesterday I went all over boston. I went to the Cheers bar and to the ocean. We drove around downtown Boston which waas nice however it was really busy. Crazy if ya ask me. Anywyas the point of this entry is to put something on here that I wrote in my notebook a few days ago. It was due to some certain happenings. so here it goes


How can you love someone so much it hurts? I never thought I would feel so much for one person. This person comsumes my every waking thought. I wonder time and time again if he thinks of me too. I dream of his smile, his smell, his kisses. I long for his touch. I long for the feeling of pure contentement that I felt laying next to him and his arms draped around my body. I feel for this person in every bone of my body. When he calls I just like hearing his voice. Sometimes I dont hear what he is saying I get lost in the sound. I want to hear that every day even if its only for a second. I want him to know how I feel about him and to have him feel the same about me. I want to wake up next to him everyday. I want to have the ability to kiss him in the morning and when I go to bed at night. I want to lay on the couch next to him and just talk until the wee hours of the morning. I want to get in the car with him and just drive until we run out of gas. I want to lay out under the stars curled up in his arms gazing into his beautiful eyes. I want to dance in the rain with him. I want to have snowball fights with him during the winter. I want to spend forever and an eternity with him. I want to laugh with him at the good times and I want to cry with him during the bad times. I want the good, the bad, and everything else with him. I want ot travel the world and capture it all on camera. I want andything and everything that the world is going to throw at me. Most of all I want to go through it all with him.


I wrote this after talking to a certain someone. I love this man and probably always will. Part of me wonders day after day if he feel the same. I have gotten an inclination as to some of his feelings however I am not sure how strong they are. I want these feelings returned because I fear that if they arent my heart will never recover. SOmeone please just answer this question for me. I just want to know. The only person that can logically answer this question is the man himself. I am afraid to know the answer. I am afraid to find out the out come of all this. I just want to know. I see myself lasting with him for along time but I dont know if its a reality or if its just a dream. THey do say that dreams become reality however is this going to be my reality or am i going to be where i started in the first place