One would think that by this time I would be overjoyed. I couldnt sleep at nigh, I was restless and just excited. School is done in 2 days and I also go on vacation in 2 days. Yet I find myself pissed off to no end. There are a few things in life that can trigger my anger and my mom is one of them. She knows what buttons to push and let me tell you some days she pushes them hard. I think sometimes she does it just to see what reaction I give. You see I was blessed to get my dads temper. When I was younger I had a slight problem in controlling it. I didnt lash out too bad but things tend to break when I was around. Over the teenage years I learned how to control it becuase I knew no one wanted an angry person around. A few people in my life can trigger an outburst and I was ready to burst this morning. I am stressed out the way it is however it seems when my mom calls she just adds fuel to the already burning fire. I hate it when people call and wake me up, especially when its not an emergency. I receive a call at 6:30am this morning, mind you I am usually not functioning until 6:45am. Its only 15 minutes I know however its 15 minutes that I need. I thrive for sleep and when its disrupted it makes me mad. My mom decides to call me this morning to let me know that I received a letter from someone credit card company stating that my address had changed. well no shit sherlock. I moved. I thought that would be the end of the convo since I needed to get up and start my dad. nope. I was so very wrong. I have been giving my mom some money out of each pay check to put away in case of an emergency. you never know when somethign is going to break or your not able to pay a bill. Well I wanted a little extra spending money when I go on my trip. So I had asked my mom on Sunday if she could bring some of that money in to me on Tuesday so that way I had it when I leave on wednesday. She was all fine and dandy with it when I asked her so i figured it was no biggie. I asked her this morning if she remembered to bring the money and she said she did. Well then she decides to go off on this little rant about how I really dont need it and I shouldnt be going on this vacation. Im sorry I am finishing college. I deserve a little time away. I have no idea when the next time I will be getting a vacation as next summer I have to start paying back my student loans. This was a present to me that I thought I deserved. I need to get away. I need some time awya from the people who push my buttons on a daily basis.
I dont want this to seem like a huge rant about my mother and how much I despise her becuase I love my mom. I would do absolutely anything for her. But she needs to let go a little bit. I am almost 21 years old yet she still treats me like I am 12. What is she going to do once I find a boyfriend and am not able to answer her call 20 times a day. I dont want to estrange myself from my mom, I just need a little space. A little space isnt too much to ask is it? I know people are going to read this and look bad upon me because I am talking like that about my mom but I feel like I am suffocating from her smothering. Please dont think I hate my mom, cuz I dont. My mom is the greatest person in the world. Jsut with a few flaws. But thats what makes her my mom and I wouldnt ask for anyone differe.
So this I pray to you....please give me the paitence to deal with my mom and please give me the paitence to get throught the next few days with out blowing up. AMEN
this is ndgurl07 signing off for now. There may be another one yet today.
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